To win, or to beat

A few days ago, I was playing a board game with my brother in law Michael, and his cousin Timothy.  They are young teenagers, and we all love the game, Settlers of Katan.

The goal of the game is similar to the famous computer game, Age of Empires.  Players earn and use resources like brick, rock, livestock, wood, and wheat to buy and build a civilization.  The first player to build enough settlements, cities, armies, and roads wins the game.

Timothy was in the lead, and very close to victory, when I mentally counted his points.  I realized the danger, and told Michael we needed to do everything possible to keep Timothy from winning.  We made a temporary alliance that slowed Timothy’s progress enough that we could catch up to him.  I ended up winning the game.

But it wasn’t a very satisfying win, for I was haunted by my conscience that I hadn’t won fairly.  As I evaluated this feeling, and went through my thoughts, actions, and motives during the crucial moment in the game, I realized something.

Michael wouldn’t have realized the danger if I hadn’t told him.  He would have continued to engage in mutually beneficial trades with Timothy that could have allowed Timothy to win the game.  However, after I told him the situation, we both refused to trade with Timothy at all.

I didn’t break any official rule by telling him, but I realized that for just a moment, I let my competitiveness compromise my integrity.

Instead of using all my intelligence and creativity to build my empire and win, I used manipulation to beat someone else.

Maybe you can’t see a difference.  But for me, it was wrong.

Sorry Man.

 

What is your core diet?

As Rachel and I learn about eating food to fuel our bodies, prevent disease, and avoid injury, we’ve realized that it’s very important to realize what foods make up the majority of our diet.  I call it our Core foods.  These are cheap, plentiful, boring foods that form a foundation for most all we eat. 

In the US, here are some common core foods:

1. Corn products – high fructose corn syrups sweetens most of our sugary foods and drinks, corn oil (or vegetable oil) is in dozens of common products, and corn is fed to cattle and poultry, so it’s in most of our meat.  Here are some other foods that contain corn – http://www.businessinsider.com/everyday-foods-contain-corn-prices-soar-2012-7?op=1

2. Soy –  meat fillers, most foods at fast food restaurants are cooked in soybean oil.  Here are some other foods that contain soy – http://www.meghantelpner.com/blog/soy-masquerading-as-a-whole-lot-of-other-stuff/

3. Wheat – bread, buns, crusts, tortillas, biscuits, cakes, cookies, crackers, pancakes, waffles, cereal, breaded meat liked fried chicken, and pasta.

4. Potatoes – french fries and potato chips.

5. Beef and chicken – you can figure this one out

 

With a bit of research into each of these foods, it’s not hard to see why America is fat and sick.  For just a minute, forget about what the USDA says, and read about how these foods are grown, how they are processed , and what additives are used to increase their shelf life or enhance their taste.  As Rachel and I did this research, we began to transition to a new list.  We don’t have a big food budget, so things like organic cashew flour were not possible.

Here are some of our core foods, in no particular order.

1. Sprouted lentils

2. Organic rice

3. Raw goat’s milk (from our goats)

4. Free range eggs (from the chickens that roam the farm)

5. Bananas

6. Frozen ground turkey (this is a weak point in our nutrition, but organic meat is crazy expensive)

7. Oats, soaked overnight to remove the enzyme inhibitors.

8. Organic cool press coconut oil

9. Butter (until we get our own cow, we’ll have to buy it).

 

Of course, my two list are over simplified, because obviously many other foods are added to these core foods to create meals.  But it’s very important to realize that if the core foods are unhealthy, then using a fat free dressing or low fat yoghurt or not super sizing the value meal or eating less or taking vitamins or going for a jog isn’t going to do diddly squat for my weight, health, or energy.

 

 

Authenticity is cool

I didn’t realize that the message of authenticity was cool until I heard the commencement speech at my brother’s college graduation last week.  The keynote speaker told every graduate to find their unique inner voice and give it to the world.  He quoted Howard Thurman:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

I agree with Thurman, but I didn’t agree with the keynote speaker, because there was something critical he didn’t say, something that must exist for authenticity and genuine life to occur. 

First, there must be purpose to life.  If I came from goo or apes or chance, then I have no inner light to give, no inner voice to speak.  If there is no purpose, what’s the point of acting noble and true?  Why not just get as much as I can, whenever, however?

And if there is a purpose, then Someone must have given it to me.  I can’t make my life have purpose.  That’s like a toy making itself come alive.  No, something greater than me outside me must touch me.

The breathtakingly beautiful truth is that Someone has touched me.  Jesus is alive, and He has put His spirit in me, so I truly do have “inner light” to give.  I have a unique identity only because He has given it to me.

Giving my kids a great education part 2

When I was in high school, I was fascinated with economics, starting my own business, finance, and investing, but I didn’t know exactly what degree I wanted to pursue based on those interests.  After talking with counselors and doing research, I decided the best route for me would be to get a generic bachelors in business degree instead of a specific field like accounting.

By choosing this route, I could get my degree for less money, quicker, and I’d have more options for schools.  As I previously stated, I chose an unorthodox path that saved time and money.

But all I really got was a piece of paper.

And that’s OK.

Because I knew that most employers were just looking for a piece of paper to let me in the door, and then I could prove myself with hard work, people skills, and diligence.

Unfortunately, many employers today won’t hire someone without a college degree.  It doesn’t matter what kind of degree, as long as it’s a degree.  The reasoning is simple – if I could stick with it and work hard to finish that college thing, then maybe I’d do the same thing for them.

So if I want to give my kids a great education, and equip them to excel in the workplace, I should look at what employers (or customers if they run their own business) are looking for. 

What makes a great first impression?  What screams, “Hire me”?  What makes people like me?  What helps me learn anything?  What sets me apart from others?  If I was running a company and needed to hire an employee, what would I be looking for?

Most of the answers are inexpensive to learn.  Not easy, but free if I am disciplined enough to do it.

Here’s a brief list.  I’m sure you can add some to it.

 

1. How to speak in public.

2. How to delay gratification.

3. How to smile and look someone in the eye.

4. How to shake hands with confidence.

5. How to tell the truth no matter what, but use wisdom doing it.

6. How to love learning new things.

7. How to not be afraid of failing.

8. How to use a computer.

9. How to find the answer to questions.

 

More and more people are getting college degrees.  Now a master’s degree is what sets people apart.  Soon it might be a doctorate.  That’s really really expensive.

But what if, like a breath of fresh air, someone came for an interview who exuded confidence, humility, honesty, and smiled a lot?  They admitted that they didn’t want to get a student loan for college, but instead they spent their time proving their worth in different ways.  They told three stories about how they solved problems or mended relationships.  They brought examples of their work, a recommendation from a community leader, and they offered to tackle one of your tough problems for free to prove to you they could bring value to your company.  Would it matter that they didn’t have a degree?

Can I teach my kids these things?  Instead of assigning text books for them to finish, what if I focused on these skills and qualities during their childhood years?  Would they have more fun?  Would they be better equipped for the real world?  If I missed something in their education, and in adulthood they needed to learn it, could they?

Giving my kids a great education part one

I have a 4 yr. old daughter named Genevieve, a 2 yr. old son named Curran, and another little one due in the next several weeks.  I look at them already and think to myself, “How can I give them the best education possible so they can succeed in life?” 

I first look at how I was raised, and what I might do differently.  I was homeschooled my whole childhood.  My parents decided that Dad would work full time while Mom stayed home to teach me, my younger sister, and younger brother.  But Dad also taught us math and science.  Mom taught us grammar, history, reading, and social studies. 

By the beginning of my senior year of high school, I’d already finished almost all my subjects for graduation, so I studied hard and took CLEP tests to get some of the freshman college courses checked off.  At graduation, I had a high school diploma and twenty-seven college credits.

I entered a distance learning accelerated college program to earn my Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration in twenty-one months.  Because of my head start, I finished in less than twenty. 

Because the cost was so much less than four years at a traditional university, even a state school, Dad paid the tuition and gave me the enormous gift of finishing college debt free.

My parents were not rich.  In fact, some would call them less well off than average.  But they have now put all three of us through college.

So what can I learn from their example?

They did so many things right, but I’ll only mention two.

1. They made good money decisions.  If they hadn’t, they couldn’t have survived on one income, and us kids would have been sent to public school.  I would probably have believed all the lies about what’s “normal,” what I “deserve,” what the words “hard work” actually mean, and what I “need.”  My parents, because they were working, would have had less time to teach me truth.

2. They didn’t copy the public school system in how they homeschooled us.  Until high school, we didn’t have a text book for every subject that we grudgingly labored through like some unfortunate homeschool kids.  Dad assigned us math computer games to play.  Mom read aloud from quality books while I built with Legos.  Dad offered cash prizes for subjects we learned.  Mom put up posters on every subject from Roman numerals to liquid measurements to maps of the world to simple machines all over the house.  I showered while studying a map of the world on the shower curtain.  Dad put the push mower and weed eater in the back of our station wagon, and my brother and I learned to earn and manage money by mowing other people’s yards before I could even drive a car.  When we went to the beach, we studied the ocean.  When we went to the Outer Banks, we studied the Wright Brothers.  Dad’s vocation is an industrial safety engineer, so we were the only kids on the block outside during school hours putting out small grease fires in the backyard with a fire extinguisher.  Dad even taught a course he wrote based on the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  We learned how to talk to others to make a good first impression on future employers, clients, or leaders.

This is getting long, so in the next post, I’ll talk about how I want to educate my kids.

Let me leave you with one scandalous thought.  What if college is not the best option for our children?  What if they could learn real skills better, quicker, for less money?  What if they could learn to be self employed or have much more appeal to an employer without having a degree from a university? 

Rethinking retirement

The foundation for my argument is now built.  The modern American retirement model seems normal, and everyone advises us to pursue it as hard as we can.  But it is really normal?  Throughout history do we see people working for a certain number of years, and then voluntarily leaving their work and lounging around while still in good health?  Do we see men and women seasoned with wisdom, experience, and understanding, having truly mastered their art, just abandoning it because they hit a certain magic age?  Even today, do other parts of the world see life this way? 

I think normal isn’t really normal.

I’m young, healthy, strong, and have lots of energy right now.  My wife is beautiful and energetic, and my kids are small and filled with wonder at their surroundings.  We have two investment options.

1. We can save lots of money in a retirement account, hope the government doesn’t change the laws and take it, hope it earns interest and grows, hope we maintain good health, hope our community remains peaceful, hope we don’t have a fatal accident, and hope we have enough money to raise our kids and love people around us.  And one day, we’ll get to spend all that money on ourselves doing fun stuff, if everything works out just right.

2. Or we can take most of the money we could be saving for retirement and have more family time to train our children, teach them how to love learning, teach them how to live life joyfully, and teach them skills they will use the rest of their lives.  We could invest in our marriage, going out on dates regularly, having time to hang out, take some inexpensive out-of-town trips, work on dreams and hobbies together, and cultivate our lifelong bond.  We could invest in other people, helping friends in need, giving money to complete strangers, and supporting a local charity or church.  We won’t save much for retirement, but we’ll have built lasting relationships and changed the lives of not only our children, but many others who we were able to touch.

In the next post, I’ll tell you why I think we’ve chosen #1, even though #2 sounds much better.

Is saving for retirement hopeless or easy?

My last post probably made you think this blog is turning into a financial blog. 

It’s not.

But in order to look at the concept of retirement as most Americans understand it, we must see some things.

1. Most people want to stop working completely when they turn 65 yrs. old (or 67 if you take the government’s suggestion).  We think this because that’s what everyone tells us is normal.

2. Most people don’t really know what they want to do when they retire.  They have vague dreams of travel, leisure, family time, and hobbies, but no real concrete plans.

3. Financial experts warn us to save money for retirement, but it’s hard to know how much.

We’ve discussed #2 a bit, and #1 is where I want to go, but in order to do that, we need to look at #3.

Confusing I know…

I got onto several popular websites today to calculate how much I’ll need for retirement.  I was asked to enter my age, income, and expectations for how much I’ll spend in retirement, and how well I thought my investments would do over the next 40 years.  Obviously, there’s a lot of guessing in this game. 

I looked at AARP, CNN Money, and Yahoo Finance.  Each one gave different answers, but they all agreed that if I wasn’t planning on Social Security helping me when I retire, I needed to save somewhere between $1.1 million and $1.35 million to maintain my current lifestyle after retirement.  That’s a ton of money, but this is not counting the help from Social Security, if it exists when I retire.

That’s a big IF.  I don’t think that America’s finances will allow a retirement program by the time I retire unless we make some major changes now that no one seems willing to do.  If America continues to be in a bad financial situation, and it can’t offer any retirement help to me, then my retirement plans will look very different than if it can offer me help.  The example below explains what I mean:

 

If Social Security exists, and I want to maintain my lifestyle after retirement…

AARP says I need to save 1.5% of my income every year, about $450 per year.

Yahoo Finance says I need to save 1% per year, about $300 per year.

 

If Social Security doesn’t exist and I want to maintain my lifestyle after retirement…

AARP says I need to save 20.5% per year, about $6150 per year.

Yahoo Finance says I need to save 10.5% per year, about $3,150 per year.

CNN Money says I need to save 12% per year, about $3,750 per year.

 

I hope you see the huge difference.  With Social Security, I have plenty of years to save so it will be pretty easy, as long as I’m consistent.  Without Social Security, I’ll need to save $3000 – $6000 every year.  I earn about $30,000 per year, so those numbers look impossible.  If I counted every penny and never gave any money away to anyone…

I still couldn’t do it.

I’m left in a sticky situation.  My only hope for a decent retirement is a government program I don’t think will exist when I need it.  And it won’t exist, not because someone decided to change a law, but because we literally won’t be able to afford it. 

I know all the experts say that if Social Security isn’t here, then something else will take its place.  I certainly hope it does, but I’m not holding my breath.

So now that I’ve wrecked your day and mine, we’ll re-evaluate some assumptions and see if we can’t see another way.

Social Security – What is it really?

I’ve read many opinions about Social Security.  Everyone agrees it’s a flawed system about to collapse.  Let me first explain very briefly what it is, and why so many are concerned.

What is it?  Social Security was created in 1935, and it’s job is to protect elderly and disabled people from poverty. 

How does it work?  Part of the paycheck of every worker in the US is taken from them before they even see it.  This money is given to retired people to help them pay their bills.  The young healthy workers’ money is given to the older population.  This system works great when there are many many young workers, and not so many retired people getting benefits.

Why is it messed up?  Any ten year old will realize that the system will break down when there are more retired people than young workers.  The “Baby Boomer” generation is huge, and as those people retire, more and more people are getting money out of the system, and fewer and fewer people are putting money into the system.

When will it crash?  Experts say that by 2036, the savings will be gone, and all retirees will not get as much money every month.

Will they do something about it?  In politics, it’s always hard to change a huge system until it really crashes.  Although people are complaining already that something needs to be done, it’s likely that the nation won’t really focus on a change until the cliff is right in front of us.

What will they do about it?  That’s the million dollar question.  Some want to “tweak” the current system to make it more sustainable.  Others want to throw the entire thing out the window and do something completely different to help people. 

What is the bottom line?  If you are going to retire in a few years, count on Social Security.  Go to the AARP website to calculate how much you’ll receive.  However, if you are planning for retirement many years from now like me (full benefits from the program wouldn’t apply to me for 40 years), then don’t count on Social Security to be there for you.  Hopefully something will take it’s place, but there is no guarantee.  If you want money saved for retirement, don’t count on the government to do it for you.

Retirement – what will I do?

I’ve discussed the need to clarify my dreams for retirement.  I’ve said that there are some retirement dreams that I cannot fulfill with any amount of money, and so I’d best not try.  There are other dreams I have for retirement that I can experience now, and if I can do that, I should.  After all, I might not even live until I retire, or I might be in such bad health when I do that I can’t pursue my dreams.

So what dreams do I have for retirement? 

1. Are they something completely new that I can’t do at all now? 

2. Or will I be more completely devoting myself to a dream I’m living now, since I will no longer have the restriction of trading my time for money?

For the first, Rachel and I would love to spend some months living on a house boat while cruising the Intercoastal Waterway that runs along the Atlantic coast from Texas to New Jersey.

For the second, I can mentor young men now, teaching them about bushcraft, firemaking, fixing things, weaponry, and being a man.  But without the need for full time employment, I could devote more time and attention to this dream.

In the next retirement post, I’ll talk about the safety net called Social Security, and whether I think it will fall apart before I retire.  And if it does, what in the world will we all do?

Iron Sharpens Iron

Last night I had the privilege of having dinner with two younger friends who are Real men.  They both have presence and strength that I can feel when I’m around them.  Although I’ve had great conversations with them separately, this was the first time all three of us had met together.

I mostly watched them interact, asking each other hard questions, answering from their heart, and presenting counter arguments.  They asked my opinion on things, and I gave my thoughts. 

But at one point, the conversation turned to me.  One of them asked me a hard questions about my life, heard my reply that I was weak in that area, and then pushed me to pray about making a change.  In a loving way, he forced me to make a decision right then to commit to do something new.  Then he asked me if I was serious about my answer.

It felt uncomfortable, because I’m not used to being challenged on the spot to “Man Up.”  Most friends won’t bring an issue up for fear of creating an uncomfortable situation and making someone mad.  But I had given him permission to speak into my life, and he did it. 

Our time together was so great.  I loved the fellowship of these two Men.  Thank you both for last night.