Building my soil part 1

The first way I discovered to build soil is harnessing the amazing power of…

Chickens.

These crazy clucking machines are perfect for creating soil.  Here’s my strategy, which I got from Harvey Ussery in his book, The Small Scale Poulty Flock.

Our 25 chickens free range around the farm during the day, but at night they gather in a coop.  We cover the dirt floor with pine needles.  Since we have acres of pine timber on the land, this is easy and free.  The chickens eat our table scraps, some grain, and plenty of plants and bugs.  Their manure is high in nitrogen, so it needs a high carbon material to create good compost and soil.  So we add the high carbon pine needles to balance the ratio. 

And there’s no need to turn the bedding, because when we throw some grain or scraps into the coop, the chicken will scratch around and turn it themselves.

Once or twice a year, when the bedding is pretty well broken down, we’ll empty the bedding and move it to our garden area.  We leave a bit of bedding in the coop, because we don’t want to strip all the beneficial bacteria away that live there.  That way they can continue to multiple and make our chickens healthy and robust.

This is such a brief introduction, but if your interest in piqued, check out more by Googling “Harvey Ussery.” 

 

Can I trust her with me?

In a recent post, I talked about the three levels of friendship.  Well, I got a chance to test my theories.

It’s easy to talk about it, but when I finally have a big weakness that I’m afraid to share, it’s so hard to share it. 

For several weeks now I’ve been feeling attracted to a lady I know.  It sure stinks to be happily married, but noticing someone else.  I had no intention of letting the attraction grow, but I hated that I felt it at all.  After all, I’m pursuing with all my heart an amazing marriage with my wife!  Why in the world would I even notice anyone else? 

Bad.  Really bad.

So I realized I had to share this information with someone, because a secret attraction is very dangerous.

But who?

Thank God, I do have a couple of friends that I trust enough to admit my junk. 

1. My wife

2. My buddy

3. My mentor

Option #1 was definitely out, right?.  I mean, how bad would that sound?  “Babe, I’m feeling attracted to another woman and I just wanted you to know.”  Laughable.

But the more I thought about it and prayed about it, the more I felt like I needed to entrust myself to my wife. 

Would she be hurt?  Would she get angry?  Would she feel ugly and rejected and not enough?  I didn’t know, but I had to say it and trust her to help me and protect me.

We talked about it on the way to a wedding on Saturday.  I admitted my attraction, and told her that I didn’t want to feel it, that I only wanted her, and that I needed her help.  I said I felt scared to admit it, and it was really hard, but I needed a safe place someone who would protect my heart.

I specifically asked her to do two things.

1. To remind me who I really am, and what I really want.

2. To observe me when I’m around the lady, and tell me if I’m being fake or trying to get attention.

It was so freeing.  She knew the lady, and told me that she was glad I’d told her, because otherwise she would have always wondered if I was attracted to the lady or not.  She didn’t feel hurt and angry because she believed me when I said I didn’t want to feel it.  She thanked me for trusting her with me.

What happened between us is called Grace.  I know it’s an overused word in our Christian culture, and it’s tough to define. 

So consider it defined.  It’s this safe place I just described.

I can feel the power of the false attraction melting away.  My relationship with my wife is stronger, and my heart is being healed.

My love affair with soil

I said yesterday that I was learning to garden.  But what I’m really fascinated with is soil.

Not dirt.  Soil.

For all the non-gardeners out there (and I’ve been one my whole life), let me clarify.

Dirt is dry, dusty, hard, sandy, compacted, and generally light brown, or in our area, kinda reddish.

Soil is moist, soft, loose, light, and very dark brown. 

Plants may survive in dirt.

Plants will go crazy in soil.

Now for a reality check for all of us Americanized modern comsumers – All of our food, and the quality of our water, is dependent on soil.  Not the grocer, or Monsanto, or Aquafina, or the government.  Soil.

Not dirt, soil.

And soil is in short supply.  And growing shorter by the day.

The classic case is the American mid-west, “where the buffalo roam, where the deer and the antelope play.”

Why was there so many buffalo, deer, and antelope back in the day?  Because they had lots of good food.  And what do they eat?  Grass.  Lots of it.

I’ve never appreciated grass.  As a teenager, I hated cutting it.  My dad and I can admire a yard of thick, lush, green grass.  It’s nice for golf courses and ball fields.

But I’ve never realized how important it is.  You see, the grass on those plains in Nebraska, Oklahoma, and Kansas grew and died, or was eaten, and over many years it created soil.

Lots of it.  I think the original estimate was three feet of top soil.

Really good for growing things.

But in the past 150 years of so, we pretty much wiped out the top soil in those areas.  I won’t try to explain why because I don’t know enough about it.  If you’re interested, just Google “top soil depletion.”

The point is soil is good for plants, animals, and people.  And it’s really cool to create.

Later I’ll share some ways I’m creating soil.  You’ll be envious and want to do it yourself.

Can you tell I’m crazy?  Well, I would have said the same thing a few years ago if you told me I would be writing a blog about my love affair with soil.

Details to follow.

Real gardening

Since we live on a farm, the logical thing is for me to have a garden.  2013 was year one for our garden, and we learned a lot but didn’t eat a lot.

This year we’re correcting some basic 1st year don’t-have-a-clue mistakes and I think it will be better.

About 18 months ago as we were beginning to think about learning to garden and produce our own food, a friend of mine sent us an online video about a guy named Paul Gautschi.  Paul is gardening in a very different way than conventional wisdom, and is having amazing results over multiple years.  I’ve watched many videos online about him and read different view points.  I think the thing that impresses me the most about him is that even though he is having uncommon success at a new thing, he doesn’t seem concerned with making money off of it.  If I had discovered some secret to success, in any area of life, my first thought would be how I could earn money teaching, counseling, advising, writing a book, hosting a class, or being “the expert.” 

He just seems to love gardening.

At the bottom of this web page is a documentary about him and his gardening style.  It’s a good introduction.  If your interest in piqued like mine was, just do a search on YouTube for “Paul Gautschi” or “Back to Eden Garden.”

http://www.backtoedenfilm.com/

 

The message is spreading

Over Easter, my family went to the NC coast to visit my wife’s grandmother.  So my Easter Sunday was celebrated with members of the Church of Christ I’d never met. 

Pause for a second.  Why is it so hard to go to a meeting with people I don’t know?  If I visit another church, for instance, I am always tempted to have my guard up.  Maybe I’m feeling threatened because I feel inferior, or I’m afraid of being singled out, or I can’t measure up.  Or maybe I’m feeling superior because of the poor quality of the facility, or the service, or the singing, or the sermon.  Maybe people dress differently, maybe they sound different.

Those are all stupid reasons not to engage with other followers of Christ.  After all, we’re all figuring this thing out.  None of us have all the answers.  Why can’t I just relax and be confident in who I am and what I believe?

But that’s not the point I wanted to make.  In the sermon, the pastor said basically the same thing I’ve been hearing from multiple other sources. 

1. Quit wearing a mask and trying to act like I have it all together.

2. Be vulnerable and admit my faults to other people.

Wow!  How cool that people in other areas of this huge world are learning these same things.  I look forward to meeting more people and hearing more stories of authenticity and real relationships from random places I didn’t expect.

Faking vulnerability

Following up on my Safe Place post from last week, I’d like to make one additional point.  I mentioned that the first two levels of friendship are the Audience level and the Confidant level.  I am vulnerable enough with Audience friends to share my past failures.  I am vulnerable enough with Confidant friends to share my current struggles.

Now let’s clear up one little thing, especially for the men.  Just because I can share some goof up in my past doesn’t mean I’m being vulnerable.  Go to any grill out, any bar, or any locker room and you’ll hear a bunch of men standing around sharing stories.  Some of them are huge failures in the past.  Vulnerability and authenticity?  Not likely.

Here’s why.  I’m only being vulnerable when I can tell the deed but also the guilt and regret.  If I don’t communicate that what I did was wrong, tall tales of stupidity, lust, rage, and excess are just another way to brag. 

Another way to put on a mask around others and hide.

If one tale of wrong is quickly “one-upped” by another tale from someone in the group, you know it’s just a bunch of Posers trying to admit their faults without making them sound like faults. 

This can be done with past failures or current struggles.

“Yeah, I laid her in high school.”

“Yeah, I stole that car.”

“Yeah, I watch porn all the time.”

“Yeah, I get ticked at my kids, especially when my football team loses.” 

I have no guilt, no remorse, no vulnerability.  Just a desperate attempt to validate my failures by having other men laugh at my “joke.”

I don’t care what you believe…

You should meet my good friend and mentor, Mark.  He is big, burly, loves to ride bicycles, and speaks with an Afrikaans accent.  In case you were like me and have no clue what that means, the Afrikaans language is used in South Africa by Dutch people who moved there a long time ago.  To my untrained ear, he sounds kind of like a British person.  But if he’s reading this, he’ll be rolling his eyes and saying under his breath, “What in the world?  I don’t sound British.”  Oh well, like I said, I’m untrained.

We often stay up very late talking about God, life, and people’s hearts.  I can always count on him to challenge me.  He says to me, “I don’t care so much what you believe, but I want you to know why you believe what you believe.”

Why do I believe something? 

Is it because I read it somewhere (I can’t remember where)?

Maybe I heard it on TV, or a podcast.

Did I observe it myself, or did someone else I trust see it?

Maybe I heard it from a friend who saw it on TV.  (now that’s scary.)

Maybe I don’t even know where in the world I heard it, or why it stuck in my mind and became part of my foundation.

 

His comment is great wisdom, because if I truly focus on why I believe what I believe, hopefully it will become clear whether I have based my decisions on wisdom or just gossip.

What’s the hard thing?

One important thing I’ve learned from Seth Godin is this.  With any project I’m working on, it’s crucial to answer the question, “What’s the hard thing?”  What’s the most difficult thing, the most tedious, the most uncomfortable for me to do?  Also, what is the thing that everything hinges on, the most critical component of the process that will ultimately create success or failure? 

Too often, those two answers are the same.

What I don’t want to do, what feels most scary, is the exact thing that must be done for success.

When I first started in sales, the scary thing was the telephone.  I couldn’t have imagined it would be so hard to pick up the phone, dial the number, and talk to someone who might reject me.  I came up with all sorts of little projects and research that should be done before I actually made the call.  In other words, the critical thing was to do it, and because I didn’t want to, everything else I did instead was just an excuse, a way to run away and delay, delay, delay.

Over the course of thousands of phone calls, I’m more comfortable now with making that call.  But there are other things now.

I’ve been just about to launch a business now for five months.  It feel like it’s just days away…  For five months.  I’ve done a lot of great research, learned a lot of great tips, and I’m sure, avoided a few mistakes that I would have made had I started sooner.

But I haven’t earned a penny yet.

It’s a business, right?  Maybe it’s supposed to make some money. 

All sorts of excuses come to mind about why I didn’t jump into the water sooner.  They are all “good” reasons to delay the launch. 

But they’re just excuses, really.

So what’s the hard thing?  The hard thing is committing.  Shouting loud and clear to everyone, “I’m open for business.  This is me.  Judge me however you want, but I’ve done it and I’m committed.”

Am I ashamed of what I’m going to do?  Certainly not.  It’s a needed service at a fair price.  It will benefit my customers. 

But it still feels so hard.  Which probably means its the most important.

Even now, I want to end this blog without officially declaring whether I will jump or not.  I almost hit “publish” without doing the one thing I’m saying I need to do. 

OK.  I’ll say it.  I’m open for business.  The line has been crossed today.  Come what may.

Here’s a good blog post from Seth for you: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2014/04/the-right-moment.html

 

What is the hard thing in your life?  Is it the thing you most dread?  Will you do it anyway?

What’s your name?

OK, I’m about to offend some people.  Are you ready?  OK.

I was homeschooled growing up, and one of the books on my required reading list was How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.  My dad told my sister, brother, and I that if we would study that book and apply it, we would be successful in whatever job or business we decided to pursue. 

As I read it, the biggest thing that I learned was this – Everyone loves to hear their own name.  After all, isn’t Cameron Mark Denny the prettiest name you ever saw?  It’s just perfect.  Well, except for the fact that Cameron means “crooked nose.”  But I guess if Mr. Cameron way back in the day got his crooked nose for some heroic deed, I can live with that.

But I digress.

Everyone loves to hear their own name.

In high school, I worked at a retirement community.  I challenged myself to learn every person’s name that lived there.  By the time I left for college three years later, I could walk down the halls addressing almost every person who lived in the complex, “Hello Mr. Gardener.  Good morning Mrs. Jones.” 

It was really cool.  I hope they enjoyed it. 

But it was hard.  Really hard.  I’d be walking and see someone coming towards me.  My mind raced, thinking madly, “What is their name?  Smith?  No.  Edwards?  No.”  If I didn’t remember it by the time I passed them, I felt a bit defeated.  Later I would say, “Oh man, it was Mrs. Cox!  Why didn’t I remember that?”  Then I would try little tricks to help me remember it next time.

Little did I know that I would finish college and enter into retail sales and marketing, where I’d deal with many different customers all the time.  The name learning would only continue to challenge me.

Now here’s where the offensive part comes in.  I hear people all the time say, “I’m not good with names.  I remember faces but not names.” 

Whoop-de-freakin-doo!

It doesn’t make someone feel special if I say, “I remember your face.  What’s your name again?”  That’s called failure.

And don’t blame it on genetics or temperament or your shoe size or anything else.  If you are older than 83, then I’ll believe you.  Otherwise, I think you’re either ignorant and don’t see the importance, or you’re just lazy.

Ignorance is OK.  Until now.  Consider yourself no-longer-ignorant.  Think about times when people remembered your name.  Did it make you feel special?  Did it make you want to buy their product, be their friend, or go out with them on a date?  What about when someone didn’t remember your name when they should have.  Did it make you want to buy, friend, or date? 

I rest my case.

Now if you’re just lazy, enjoy being friendless, homeless, and single.  It’s OK.  That’s what you’ve chosen…

Whew!  OK.  I’m done ranting.  My hair is presentable again, and my fingers are no longer smoking from typing so violently.  I twisted my ankle jumping down from my soapbox, but it will be OK.

Oh, and one more thing.  Learn to pronounce someone’s name correctly.  If it looks or sounds hard, ask them how to say it and practice it with them right then.  It sounds stupid, but they will feel honored that you took the time to do it.

There’s a cool site called pronouncenames.com.  If you are trying to figure out a tough name, check it out.  If you have a tough name, go there are tell the site how to pronounce it so I can learn it if I ever need to talk to you.  Thanks.

 

Do you think names are important?  If so, what reasons can you add to my short list?  If not, why?

 

Being content with mediocrity

As I drove to work this morning, I was listening to Mere Christianity, the famous book by C.S. Lewis.  He remarked that most people come to God because there are one or two sins that embarrass them, and they want God to take care of just those sins, and then leave them alone to live a normal life.  They really don’t want the radical whole-life change that God wants for them. 

Am I like this?  I think I am, more often that I would like to admit. 

“God, please heal this, or cure that, and protect my family, or help me achieve success, or remove this tendency towards greed, lust, or laziness.” 

“What?  You want to turn my life upside down and redo all my priorities, and give me a completely new life?  You want to give me Your life?”

“Well God, I really just needed that thing from you, and I really don’t want you to go to such extremes with me.  I’d much rather remain normal.  Can’t I just give You part of me, maybe even a big part, but not all?  I really do enjoy doing my own thing sometimes.”

Unfortunately, I don’t want to be great, to be excellent, to be world-class, to be a man you would write about.  I want to be a normal guy who did some good things, touched some needy people, and the rest of time lived his own life.

Ouch.  That hurts to admit.  But it’s true much of the time. 

I truly believe God is changing my heart to want the incredible life He has planned for me. 

“Daddy, I want to want what you have for me.  I know that You love me, and you have something much grander, much harder, and much more rewarding than I would ever choose for myself. 

I believe.  Oh God, help my unbelief.

 

Do you enjoy being normal?  How does it make you feel to think of being radically changed by God?